Privilege Check--Why Do Black People Say 'Ax'?

First of all, why does it matter?  But before I get to that, let me explain why I'm thinking of this topic.  I was at work today, chatting with my colleagues, you know, as you do.  I was feeling normal, pleasant, like one of the girls.  Then, nearly apropos of nothing, I was asked if I knew how to say ask by a woman we'll call June. My colleagues giggled while they waited for my response.

I answered "yes" automatically, waiting for the punchline, and then said, "Oh, you're talking about ax," and quickly changed the subject.  I had now been reminded that I was not just one of the girls.  I was the BLACK girl.  It happens.  They tried to save it by pointing out that people in the south say funny things like "fixin' to" and "yonder."  There was no saving it though. Soon after that the girl-talk ended and we dispersed to our own offices.  I tried to get back to my daily tasks but found myself distracted.  I did a quick check-in with myself and realized that I felt sad.

I thought of my dad and how for years his White co-workers at his roofing job made fun of him for saying ax to the point where even when he talks to me, he will correct himself and say, "Oh, I should have said ask," in an over-exaggerated English accent.  He turns it into a joke but I see it as a symptom of trauma.  He can't even feel comfortable talking to his own daughter in his native dialect because of the teasing from his White co-workers.  Also, because I speak what they call General American English, does he feel I judge him negatively for speaking African American Vernacular English?  Of course I don't, but I fear it's something that worries him.

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A few minutes after the incident June came and apologized to me.  She said, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.  And I don't think you say it that way."  Well, I thanked her for apologizing because I appreciated the gesture, and I know it's not easy to admit you've said something offensive, especially when it's dealing with race.  Unfortunately, her apology failed.  Why did she feel the need to point out that I don't "say it that way" as if THAT was the part that offended me.  Clearly, she believes the ax pronunciation to be some kind of failing on the part of Black people (of course this racist belief is likely subconscious on her part and by no means unique to her as a person or White people as a group).

Apparently, she's never taken a basic linguistics course.  In any Linguistics 101 course you will learn that African American Vernacular English or AAVE is a documented and thoroughly studied dialect of English (some people mistakenly refer to AAVE as Ebonics--that's a-whole-nother article).  In Linguistics 101 you might also learn that no one dialect is superior to another, as no one language can be superior to another.  As long as people are able to communicate, what's the problem?  If I say ax and you know GATdamn well I  mean ask then what is the problem?  I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound angry, please don't stop reading, retreat into defensiveness, and nonsensically point out that other groups are also ridiculed for how they speak, including poor Whites.  Although that may be true, didn't most of us learn in kindergarten that two wrongs (or many wrongs) don't make a right?

At the end of the day, I will continue to get along with my co-workers and there are no hard feelings between June and myself.  I honestly appreciate her willingness to apologize, although I wish I had been brave enough to challenge her on why she apologized.  Thanks for reading and share if you've experienced something similar! Peace, ya'll.