The Great Gatsby: Personal Impressions

Like most people who attended high school in the United States I read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby out of curricular obligation as a teenager. I remember finding it to be more palatable than other “classic” texts such as Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea. I also enjoyed discovering that the narrator, Nick, was a gay man carrying a torch for Gatsby and proving this point to my teacher through textual analysis.

Beyond finding the book tolerable and outing the narrator to my class, the book did not leave a lasting impression on me. So when I sat down to re-read it a few nights ago in anticipation of Baz Luhrmann’s screen adaptation, I wasn’t expecting much. When I finished the book I sat staring at the cover incredulously realizing that I wanted to read it again -- immediately. I’ve been an avid reader ever since I learned basic phonics as a child. Often when I reach the end of a good book I am sad to see it end and wistfully wish that there was more (this may explain my love of fan-fiction since it continues the story after the author has quit on it). I have never felt the desire to re-read a book and I never had until last night. Fitzgerald’s seminal work left me eager to re-digest its content and I did in fact begin it again immediately.

I’d like to understand why the book left such an impression on me as an adult when it barely made a blip on my radar as a high school student. I think the book’s themes are accessible to teenagers on an intellectual level but far too profound to reach them on an emotional level. Most of them have not lived long enough, or simply lived enough to understand nostalgia, love, regret and self-delusion. Although as a young child I experienced a great deal of soul-deepening trauma, all of that was at the hands of fate and not the product of my own doing. Regret only comes with personal culpability.  

As an adult in my late 20s I am just now becoming familiar with nostalgia. Because there is a younger crop of teenagers nipping at my heels who do not remember the 1990s (or the century during which The Great Gatsby was written--yikes) I find myself musing about the good old days like someone well beyond my years. I work in higher education and finding myself surrounded by this demographic as they enter such a formative period in their lives keeps me aware of all that I’ve already done.

Fitzgerald’s genius, sumptuous, and vivid descriptions of Gatsby’s parties took me back to my undergraduate years when partying was not something you did on a special occasion; it was something you did regularly and awesomely. Wanton drifting from celebration to celebration is the purview of the traditional college student and the independently wealthy. I’m certainly not rich, so when I graduated from the University of Illinois in 2008 I said goodbye to that particular brand of recreation. Sometimes I miss it - the music, the drinks, the sexual energy and possibilities - while fully  understanding that the person I am now would be disgusted in the midst of such revelry. I don’t miss the parties so much as I miss the time when I would have enjoyed them.

Then there is the theme of relationships. I was admittedly a late bloomer when it came to romantic love. I didn’t enter into a monogamous romantic relationship until I was 25 years old. Traversing the rocky mores of love has been and continues to be one of the most challenging and fulfilling undertakings of my life. I found myself stricken with empathy for Tom and Daisy’s relationship. Don’t misunderstand me. I find the individual characters of Tom and Daisy to be as reprehensible as anyone. I empathize with their relationship. Tom says:

Why, -- there’re things between Daisy and me that you’ll never know, things that neither of us can ever forget.

Fitzgerald says those words seemed to “bite” into Gatsby and as I read them they certainly bit into me. There are moments, big and small, between lovers that people on the outside can not ever know. From silly pillow talk to divulging your darkest secret and trusting that person to keep it. You may ask your friend, “What do you see in him?” You may ask your friend, “Why won’t you leave her?” Your friend will try to answer you and may even come up with a response that makes sense to you but in reality, you may really never know the why of a relationship. It is not one thing but a series of shared experiences that makes up the core of a relationship. It is a unique secret that can never be shared. Reading books, watching movies, and lending an ear to friends having relationship troubles could not have prepared me for the reality of participating in one. I think I’m awestruck at Fitzgerald’s ability to illustrate in so few words one of the most profound aspects of being in a long-term committed relationship. Gatsby underestimated the strength of Daisy and Tom’s relationship, a mistake that is perhaps small in comparison to his myriad of other bad decisions, but a poignant one nonetheless.

Re-reading The Great Gatsby 11 years after the first time has been a moving experience. It has skyrocketed to the top of my ’fav’ list and now I am more eager than ever to see what the incomparable Baz Luhrmann has done with it. I look forward to re-reading this dynamic text over and over again. The quality of the writing and the power of the story have inspired me to try and improve my own writing. Before I close I would like to add that although this book is profound it is also just a really fun read. If you somehow avoided this text while in high school I recommend that you give it a shot. Whether you like it or not, it’s sure to leave a lasting impression.